conversations & soundbites

Two posts in one day! I am on FIRE!!

I just sent this out in an email, so this is probably redundant, but I love it so much I need to share it here too.

Let me set the stage for you: We are about to go to lunch, and I have an Alabama Power envelope in my hand (it is, in fact, my power bill).

One of my students, B: “Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa???? PAY that power bill, Miss Hardin!! Gotta keep those LIGHTS on!!”
Me: “I try to keep them on, B, I try.”
B: “Can I come home with you and spend the night, Miss Hardin?”
Me: “Uhhh…”
B: “Can you cook?”
Me: “Yes.”
B: "Well, you know, I don’t have nothing going on this weekend. I’m free. Are you sure you can cook?”
Me: "I’m fairly certain"
B: “You seem like the kind that goes to McDonalds everyday and then says you cooked it.”
Me: “I don’t claim to be able to cook anything as immaculate as the big mac B.”
B: “SEE????? You got the whole menu memorized!!!”

Then there is the boy in my homeroom class who I am CERTAIN has tourettes. He is OUT OF CONTROL, is constantly in trouble, and ALWAYS has on his baseball gloves. I'm fairly certain he is one of my kindred souls. Just to set the stage here – his tendency to yell out random words has been in overdrive today, so I thought I’d share some of them that I have heard…you should know that he yells them out in absolutely no logical context whatsoever. And for some reason, he pronounces all of his e’s as long e’s, which gives him an interesting accent.


Pimp slap, pimp slap, COKE!
SHORTS!
New socks!
Goatees and crew cut!!
Jackhammers!
AmNESIA!!!
Pepsi, pepsi, COKE!!
I have monsters under my bed!
Lemon shrimp!
COKE!
You’re uncle WILLY’S son!
Space invaders! Butt ugly MARTIANS!
Chinese checkers!
PAPER BOMBS!!!!
Penguins!!
Crayola Crayons!!!
SEAWEEEED IN MY POCKET!!
Sweet n’ low!
No strings attached!
Chocolate payday on the flo!

He's in my room for some of this, during my planning period, and my principal appears in the hallway right as I chime in and yell out, "BABY OX!!!!!"

Glory.

Happy Friday, all.