Congratulations, Kate and Will!

No, I'm not referring to Kate and Will of England. I'm referring to a couple of much higher profile right here in Birmingham who has decided, as of Saturday night, to tie the knot.

Atop a mountain in the hills of North Carolina, William Abbay Graham, Jr., aka Willis "Chaps" the Pope, asked my first and best college friend, Kate Mc, to marry him. He asked her if she would accept a peg legged mini-mule named Lawrence instead of an engagement ring, and with wistful tears glistening in her eyes, she said yes. Three times. Then the three of them galloped down the mountain singing "The Hills are Alive."

I'm kidding of course...

But the part about Will asking Kate to marry him (with a ring, and a gorgeous one at that) on the top of a mountain in NC is true, and they're getting married this winter. We are really, really excited in Birmingham these days.

All you men out there, take a day or two of mourning...dress in black...do what you need to do to get over this, but our Kate is officially off the market.

Here's to the future Mr. and Mrs. Will Graham! I love you both!

Top 5 reasons Birmingham is glad Kate and Will are joining forces:

1. We need more curly headed people running around.

2. We need bigger vocabularies in Birmingham and in the world in general--everyone loves learning a new word--knowledge is power, or as I like to say, language is power, and when these two join forces, the general public will become smarter simply by breathing the same air.

3. It's an excuse for someone to craft a pair of wedding chaps.

4. Kate will no longer need the solace of unicorns after a bad dream.

5. And finally...just because they're two of the best people I know. The world will be a better place to live in with these two together. I know. Cheese. But believe it--I mean every word.

Tankinis--be gone!!

Hello, worldwide readership. Boy do I have something groundbreaking to share with you today! Get ready...this is a long one. Something so great that the Native American plush wolf post is taking yet another backseat to matters of higher blogging priority.

Ladies, this one's for you. We may be on the tail end of summer, but it's never too late to check out alternatives to the world's immodest apparel when it comes to swimwear. Here is a little known, underground yet widespread phenomenon you don't want to miss. I'll let the site's homepage speak for itself (as always, my favorite parts in bold):

"Growing up in a family of four daughters, modesty has always been a hot topic at our house! We desire to please the Lord in the way we dress and not be a stumbling block to others. We saw a great need especially, for modest swimwear. We didn't want to lower our standards just because we were swimming.

Several years ago, I decided to design one myself. My family and I wanted something that was modest, yet looked feminine.

We have been wearing this swimsuit for the last few years and numerous times have had people ask us where they could buy something similar, or if we knew of a place to buy the pattern, so that they could sew it themselves. We even had a few inquiries from people who weren't interested in modesty, but wanted it for sun protection.

I knew there was a need out there for someone to provide a modest bathing suit pattern, and prayed about the possibility of marketing this pattern some day. When I graduated from home school high school, I was seeking the Lord's will about what I should be doing at this time in my life while I am single and at home. My Mom encouraged me to try marketing the pattern, and the Lord opened the doors and made it possible! Finally, it was ready, and we were very excited to make it available to others who are looking for an alternative.

It is my prayer that many people would be blessed by this pattern. May God be glorified by the way we dress!"

Now, enter the testimonials (I'm posting a couple of my personal favorites, but I encourage you to check the site out for yourself).


"Hi, I bought your pattern last year but did not get around to sewing it until a month ago. I bought some great fabric that had been clearanced out at my fabric store. Well I lined the sleeves, bodice, and pants everything except the skirt. I lengthened my sleeves to the elbow, and lengthened the skirt to just below my knee. I also wear a size 20 so I extended the pattern myself to fit my measurements. It was a breeze. It sewed up very easy and the result is stunning... I even went tubing behind our boat wearing it and it was so comfortable. I lived in the pool for a week when I was on vacation in this suit. It was so easy to nurse in. I even nursed my daughter while sitting in the pool on the steps and it was very easy and discreet. I wore my sport bra under for support and it was great since I'm very large chested suits never fit me right or support but because I could wear my own bra it was great. Thanks again!!!! Blessings,"
Elizabeth from Georgia


How many seriously disturbing mental images are in that one testimonial??!!


Here's another:


"Wow! ...You are quick!!! ...Thanks for your patience! : ) ...I just LOVE these suits! And I also LOVE that you can specify different lengths in different parts of the suit to customize the suit for your comfort level! HEAVEN SENT! ....Thanks again for answering this calling that God has placed on you. It will be so wonderful to take my kids to Disney World and feel modest without wearing regular clothes in the pool. I am SO excited. Thanks again! God Bless You!"
-Sarah from Michigan


Regular clothes in the pool??!!!


And another:


"Dear Crystal, First of all I want to thank you so much for what you have done. Thank you for listening to the Lord. My three daughters and I just wore your swimsuits and had so much fun. I was able to swim with them and teach them how to swim without feeling torn between dressing modestly and spending time with my family in the water. My daughters loved their swimsuits and had several friends ask where they came from. I've only worn mine once and already have two friends curious about one for themselves... God Bless You,"
-Heather


Aaaand one last favorite:


"Ellie's swimsuit is simply darling - I love looking at her in it!! It is so sweet and protective to her, God honoring, and innocent. I just cannot tell you how grateful we were to find the suit and I will be ordering the patterns for future years as she grows. I want one too!!!... We do not even go to public pools or even have a big pool - we only have the blow up ones, but I wanted Ellie to embrace this early (age 6) so that she will be used to guarding her modesty. And if we do go to somewhere else, ie., a friend's house, etc., she is guarded...these are really feminine looking suits that are well pleasing and a beautiful statement of modesty... Thank you, Crystal, for your commitment to honoring our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ."
-Kelly from Illinois


Now, I am not in favor of public nudity, but isn't this AMAZING? I've spent the past half hour surfing this site in wonderment over the way these folks' minds work. What would they think of my old one piece I wore back in the lifeguarding days? Or heaven forbid...my tankini?


Someone should streak these people's front yards. Put a little spice in their lives, if you will.


Now I wonder if I can get mine overnighted in time to wear it to the lake tomorrow...

Good friends, puppy love and a new (to me) school

Quick note. Haven't blogged about anything since Mag's big day. Not for lack of material, mind you. Soon I'll be sharing with you what I consider to be the single most outstanding piece of mail I've ever received, save the hoola hoop Kate sent me while I was working at Camp DeSoto.

But for now, this will have to do. I got to spend a little time with Laura and MSK(S) this weekend, and it was much needed. I love these girls, and we're hardly ever all three together anymore. I think now that I've posted this picture, it's made an appearance on all three of our blogs. Isn't that tender.

I also got to play with their pups--LT's Max and Heather's Sophie, who was vacationing with her aunt and cousin while her mom went to a slumber party. I also got to see my loves, Charlie and Olive Smith. Olive and I are kindred spirits...I think we might be sisters. Anyway, I love this picture of Max and Sophie...look at their faces!!! LOOK at them! Have you ever seen such expressions on the faces of canines? Melts my little girl heart.

Lastly, I went to see my new school today. I teach in city schools, and they're moving teachers around like mad. Musical teachers, if you will, and I landed at Kingston.

I went for the first time today to meet the principal and take a look around, and I snapped a few pictures. I should be able to start working on a classroom starting Monday, and when I do, I'll be sure to take plenty of pictures.

HERE'S a scary thought: I was under the impression that I'm teaching 8th grade English, but evidently, I'm teaching 7th AND 8th grade English. Never mind the fine print, though. Just a tiny, insignificant detail in the ocean of life's circumstances.

Happy birthday Maggie!

Yesterday was a special day. I'm sure you all will understand. Our dear family poodle, Maggie, turned 10 three days ago, and yesterday we had her birthday party, complete with a festive hat and a tasty chicken breast with a candle in it.

Yes folks, you read correctly. We stuck a candle in a piece of chicken to celebrate Maggie's sweet decade on this earth. Ten years and going strong, forging onward through diabetes and cataracts. What a trooper.

My mom begged me not to include her in the post should I choose to blog about this (seriously now...would I really not blog about this?????) but I am going to have to go against her wishes on this one. Sorry Bons. She brought Mags to Birmingham yesterday to celebrate, and celebrate we did. Despite the momentary trauma brought forth by the boxer next door and her falling down the basement steps (cataracts), she had a splendid birthday party.

I love this pup. Happy birthday Maggie! May your remaining years be many, your ailments few, your bouncy balls soar high into the air, and may your extremely long limbs be limber and spry with which to chase them. Here, here.

Church sign addendum

This just in from dear cousin Marty...a new nugget of gold to add to the basin of church sign absurdity...this was just too good not to add.

"The most flammable kind of wood is the chip on the shoulder."

A little weird, in a disturbing kind of way, much like the piece of art you see to your right.

Someone should suggest having this sculpure next to the pulpit, only with the chip in flames. That would really drive the point home, don't you think?

Where would our congregations be without such ingenious idioms?

It's the little things

Someone tell me, what does it mean my life is coming to when I get so excited I can barely sit still over.....pencils and folders?

Yes, that's right...pencils and folders. Hundreds. Staples had a weeklong sale on these items, practically throwing them at the public for a penny each. And since they understandably put a limit on quantity for each customer, I went several times a day until the sale was over. Sometimes multiple transactions per visit. I'm sure they didn't notice. On the last day, they handed me a whole case of pencil boxes for $.12. Score.

If you'd told me three or four years ago that pencils and folders would light up my life, I'd have started crying. Not today. I have hit the jackpot. After the better part of a whole year with no supplies and 150 students with virtually no supplies either, I can't think of anything that could make my day brighter than a myriad of pencils and folders for under $5 (except getting an AL drivers license). So, I'm ready. Game on. All you 8th graders out there, bring it.

Addendum 1: I saw License to Wed tonight, and I have to say (sorry LT), I was disappointed. I love you John Krasinski, but this movie was a bit sub-par, to be sure. A little too much cheese, if you will. And I even like Mandy Moore. But really, all cheese aside, it just wasn't funny. I laughed harder at a guy on the back row who I heard say in a loud and funny voice, "Do you want an M&M?" during previews than I did at any part of the movie.

Addendum 2: I've been making fun of Diet Coke Plus for awhile now. Diet Coke with vitamins? If you're drinking Diet Coke all the time to begin with, are you really that concerned about getting all your nutrients? To me, Diet Coke Plus=Diet Coke Gay, and it is way over the line. But as the young Clifford exclaims while being slobbered over by Miss Sara Davis' mother at her anniversary party, WAAAAIIIIT!!! I tried it tonight for the first time, and it's actually good. I actually think I prefer it to regular Diet Coke (which, for me, for the record, has been replaced by Publix Cola). Vitamins or no vitamins, it really does taste better. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

Until next time.

It's a new day.

Good morning, blogging community and worldwide readership.

Today marks attempt #9 at getting an Alabama drivers license. No, it's not due to the fact that I can't drive. That would be completely justified and understandable. I cannot get a drivers license in this state because of an absurdly unstreamlined out-of-state transfer process. And I cannot get a CAR TAG until I have an AL drivers license. Makes sense, I suppose. I don't know why anyone would want an AL car tag if they lived in, say, Iowa, but it's good to be weary of sneaky citizens. Or maybe this is just a ploy to get extra taxes out of me.

Back to the process. You have to wait in line outside the satellite office at the crack of dawn for the doors to open--when they do, only the first 16 people get to actually take care of business. The next lucky 16 get to come back that day at 1 to get theirs. What about the other 86 people waiting in line? "Try again. It's a new day." Yes, someone said that to me.

Anyway, yesterday I was lucky enough to cash in on the drivers license lottery of the state of Alabama when I landed the top spot on the 1 p.m. list. So I came back, picture ready, and what? What did you say? "The computers are down state wide, little lady. Why don't you wait awhile?" Since I'd already spent what feels like a third of my life there over the course of the past two months, I sit down and wait. And wait. And wait, while a guy in an authentic reggae hat named Hameed begged me for my phone number. Finally I left, looking ahead to a new day and a fresh chance at the lottery.

This morning, I made the 1:00 list again. Yes! If it doesn't work again and I am rendered an 11th shot at the license lottery, I will take that as my cue to hop one more state over and just live in Georgia to avoid this whole thing.

THIS JUST IN....a text message from a friend I ran into at the office...the computers are down statewide again. What are they trying to do?

Georgia on my mind...

No Sweeter Subject

I copied this hymn into my journal last fall and read it often after really bad days at school. It just makes me breathe easier. I hadn't heard it again until last night when we sang it at church...really, really like it. Just wanted to share it. Happy Monday.

No Sweeter Subject
John Newton (italics mine)

Now may the Lord reveal his face,
And teach our stammering tongues
To make his sovereign, reigning grace
The subject of our songs.

No sweeter subject can invite
A sinner's heart to sing,
Or more display the glorious right
Of our exalted King.

Grace reigns to pardon crimson sins,
To melt the hardest hearts;
And from the work it once begins
It never once departs.

The world and Satan strive in vain
Against the chosen few;
Secured by grace's conquering reign,
They all shall conquer too.

'Twas grace that called our souls at first;
By grace thus far we've come;
And grace will help us through the worst,
And lead us safely home.

Red, white and Blaine

I love love LOVE the 4th of July. Fireworks, grills, hot weather, flags everywhere, Lee Greenwood (that's right LT I said it), all the obnoxious songs that come on the country music stations, I love everything about it.

Last night we went to the top of a UAB parking deck, where a huge group of friends gathered to eat/tailgate and watch the fireworks show downtown. It was excellent. Well except for the slaw I made. I was charged with bringing slaw, which I don't like and have never made before. I decided to try a recipe for Asian slaw. Hmmm. It looked like Dooley had thrown up in a piece of tupperware. Bygones.

Even though Birmingham just bagged the #1 spot on the charts for US cities with the filthiest air, it was still a great time, smog and all.

Brett, me and Warren
me, Laurahelen and Rachael. And the cookie Benj threw at us.

Hailey came!