calling all babies and baldies!!

If you have a baby girl, or if you're just BALD, then BOY do I have something for you this Christmas.

Allow me to introduce to you the Baby Bangs! headbands: What I should have gotten for my sweet niece, Nita, this Christmas...

"The wispy hair strands have been arranged in the cutest most adorable elfish coiffure!" - Baby Bangs! Web site

As I have several friends who are are either expecting or have babies, be they little girls OR boys, I started browsing the selections on the site. When I saw that they are going for the steep price of $29.95 per band, I decided I could make a craft actitivy out of this, easy.

Why do Locks of Love when you could give a sweet baby some BANGS?? So, I'll gladly cut my own hair to make Baby Bands! for all my new and/or expectant mothers out there - Meredith, coming right up. Kate? Consider it done. Meaghan? Mary Reeves' is in the mail. Heather? Jones is all set. Emily? Sarah Beth won't know what hit her. Emily & Hunter? Don't think I forgot about William. Anna Katherine? Sarah & Matthew? Laurette? And of course my niece Nita. How TENDER to have one of these jewels made from your aunt's hair!

Don't worry - I have enough hair for all of you.

stick a fork in me.

this is where I am physically today...

but in my mind, I'm already here...

holding this...

and reading this...

I keep trying to sneak in a few pages here at school. I can't put it down, and when I have to, I can't stop thinking about when I can get back to it.

HIGHLY recommend, so far, if you're looking for a good book to read over the holidays!

Just two more days until my body follows my brain to that cozy chair by the fire...

Book Review #1: The Sacred Meal

Thanks to Alison, I got the memo awhile back about Thomas Nelson's Book Review Blogger program - mention free books, and you've got my attention. I signed up and got very excited to find a book on the list about Communion. So as tempted as I was to select A Beautiful Mess: The Story of Diamond Rio for my first review, I opted for this book on the Lord's Supper instead.

Nora Gallagher's The Sacred Meal is a part of The Ancient Practices series, which explores centuries-old spiritual disciplines in the church. This book reads like a memoir, divided into sections: Introduction & Communion as practice, waiting, receiving, afterward, and thanksgiving & application. Here are some snippets from her work that, to me, sum up what she asserts in each section of the book.

Intro & Communion as practice: "To engage in a practice is to show up and not get attached to the outcome. Unlike a habit, like driving down the same street from work to home every day, the purpose of a spiritual practice is to help us stay awake." (pg. XIX)

Waiting: ...the art of noticing: it helps us shift our perspective, from...the greed and envy we share with Sodom and Gomorrah to the kingdom of Heaven." (pg. 35)

Receiving: "The model for being valued in this society is produce, produce, produce...by making our greatest and most important goal the one of productivity, we miss out on the ways that God's gifts of grace come to us by doing nothing." (pg. 41)

Afterward: "The practices are 'after words,' after the events are long in the past, and whatever words attached to them may no longer be accurately recalled. The practice remains to keep us in tune with what the original event pointed toward and so that we can add to its meaning and history." (pg. 56)

Thanksgiving & Application: I began to see that if you don't act on what you hear in the Gospels...it doesn't stick." (pg. 109)

When I picked this book, my hope and expectation was to find solid commentary and Biblical references on Communion's history and purpose; on the service and practice itself. What I found instead was one woman's reflections on her love for and experience with Communion in her Episcopal church, with very little (and by very little, I mean zero) reference to scripture or the cross.

While I loved much of what she had to say and found her to be a captivating writer, this book was not what it appeared to be in a disappointing kind of way. There were simply one too many references and/or comparisons involving yoga and global warming for my taste. It was more feel-good than authentic, more soap-boxy than substantial.

My recommendation: If you're in the mood to read a well written memoir on one person's affection for and encounter with the practice of communion, which is certainly of great value, this is your book. If you're wanting something a bit more expository and grounded in scripture, this is not your book.

Thank you, Thomas Nelson, for sending the book for review!

library rave, new moon & an art show

Hope you're all having a wonderful December so far, now that it's half gone...wow.

A few thoughts for you tonight...

1. Forgive me if this is old hat by now, but did you know that there was a RAVE in the MSU library during FINALS?? See video below. Seriously? I cannot believe my eyes. I...I...don't know what to say. Why didn't this happen when I was in school? Do you SEE the guy crowd surfing WRAPPED IN GREEN CELLOPHANE?? Had I known THIS was coming, I might've stretched my college education out just a little bit longer...

2. What did all you Twilighters out there think of New Moon? My 2 cents: A) I thought it was much better than the first movie, albeit still rather hoaky, of course. B) I still think Kristen Stewart is the worst actress under the sun, right along with Cameron Diaz and Miley Cirus. Completely one-dimensional. MILEY could have done a better job as Bella. I could have done a better job. She knows how to make ONE facial expression for the camera, and boy does she STICK WITH IT. She drove me nuts.

See? This is what she looked like the. entire. movie.

I can guarantee you I could have made that face and held it for a couple hours, running around and looking scared and distressed (I almost took a picture of myself making that face to upload, by the way).

I really did love it, despite KS. I saw it twice.

3. Just got back from an art show to benefit Birmingham's Exceptional Foundation at Homewood's Art Alley, just a few blocks from where I live. This gallery boasts the work of my artist friend Susan, as well as other local artists. You can browse some of her art here.

Yay Swan!
4. I've made my Christmas CD for this year. Want to know what's on it? 12 versions of the same song. Yep - and I think it's the best mix I've ever made. 12 versions of O Come, O Come Emmanuel. Best version - Selah, bar none. Download it.

I leave you with this passage, stolen from my church's e-newsletter.

"The authentically hopeful Christmas spirit has not looked away from the darkness, but straight into it. The true and victorious Christmas spirit does not look away from death, but directly at it. Advent begins in the dark."

- Fleming Rutledge

Hope you're all having a peaceful, quiet, hopeful Advent season!

A few things...

Yes, it has been two YEARS since I last posted, and YES it's because I'm a boring English teacher who hasn't too terribly much to write about except for one too many sleepless nights spent laboring on the school newspaper and the bad documentary I last saw thanks to Netflix (I'm still trying to decide if Netflix is a good idea or not...)

I will say this: Not having a camera seriously slows down the blogging. I mean, you can only Googleimage so many pictures to accompany blog posts. Tell me I'm wrong.

So. I do now have a camera with which to document sundry yet blogworthy (I think, anyway) affairs.

Thanksgiving weekend has been EXCELLENT, for many reasons.

One: It has been extraordinarily restful, and I needed this. Badly.

Two: I got to spend a good bit of time with this little munchkin:

I could just eat up every one of those precious rolls.

I will let these pictures speak for #3:

Hotty toddy THAT, Rebs!!

It's late, so I'll wrap it up here. But just know that now that I'm armed with a camera, you might be seeing more of me via blogspot.com.

Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

good news, bad news

Good news: It's cold outside! I knew all that rain was good for something. I finally need long sleeves - sweaters, even!

Bad news: After sitting in said cold for several hours at Friday night's homecoming game at Restoration Academy, I've been rendered useless for the rest of the weekend. I am severely under the weather and so very tempted to call a sub for tomorrow, but I've learned that being gone from school is hardly worth the trouble unless I am near the deathbed, or going on a really fun trip.

Fortunately and unfortunately, neither is the case.

Hope everyone's having a fantastic, headache & runny nose free weekend!

I'm nervous

Jim and Pam tie the knot tonight, as all you Office faithful are well aware. I've been thinking about it all day.

It's bittersweet, really. Jim and Pam belong together, and this could potentially be the best episode to date.

HOWEVER.

I am deeply concerned about the direction of the show after this night. Where will the writers go after this? What will they do with the show? Historically, outrageously successful sitcoms go no where but down after "the big episode."


Could this be the beginning of the end?

welcome, october

Autumn is the season when a year grows old.

Its strength begins to wane,

Its light begins to go dim.

It is a reminder of our own mortality and faltering strength.

It is the season when we begin to look,

not to the earth for hope,

but toward a "city not made with hands,

whose arcitect and builder is God."

Outwardly we are wasting away,

but inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

"because all I have time to do...

...is think and get down to business."

And so quoted one of my students on his application for the school newspaper staff. I got such an enormous kick out of going through these applications that I sent out a mass e-mail detailing the funniest quotes - so forgive me if this is redundant; it's just that it so completely and utterly made my week that I couldn't help but share it here also.

"I will bring all kinds of happiness."

"I do hope you will find it in your heart to select ME for this position. Thank and you may God BLESS you."

"It would be very nice if I got my job back as photographer. It has really drug me into the newspaper business."

"I could help keep the staff together if things get out of hand."

"Because on a scale of 1 to 10, I am the 10."

"I did photography last year and I am the MASTER at it."

"So, again, it would be nice if I got photography again, please."

"I would just like to say that I have been in two magazines and written three books. But, I would not like to be a writer. I would like to be a photographer."

"I would be a good asset because I know what children are thinking these days. I am one myself."

"When I decided I wanted to be a lawyer, I knew I had to be more into the economy."

"I take pictures of clouds."

"I can make up a poem in less than five minutes. Easy as that."

"I have an exquisite vocabulary."

"The school newspaper means EVERYTHING to me! If I am not on the staff, I will be so mad! I am everything the newspaper needs! I tried to be in it last year, and now I am trying again. I am very happy to get an opportunity to be on the staff and this is NOT my chance to blow it!!"

"I sometimes make 45% grammatical errors, and that is why I chose staff writer SECOND."

"Because the only thing I have time to do is think and get down to business."

I love journalism because it informs us of many things. Like the newspaper."

points of interest

1. School is in full swing. This might be my favorite group of students yet. Very good-natured, very funny, very sweet, very immature (on that point, no wonder I've taken to them so). I love my job. I can't say it enough.

2. I'm 28, or "officially close to 30." Thanks yaya. 28 is very, very good in case you're wondering. Had a lovely, intimate birthday gathering at the home of one Kate McIntosh Graham, themed "Claire's Favorite Things." Plenty of circus peanuts. Which brings me to...

3. I have a toothache. Also, it turns out, no dental insurance. My fault -- oops. At least it's not too late to fix this glitch before (hopefully) I need a root canal.

4. I really, really love the church that I recently memberized with. As in every week I can't wait for Sunday nights.

5. I'm now the owner of a pair of skinny jeans. This is moderately ironic on several counts. The cows have officially come home.

6. I cannot stop listening to Selah's new album - particularly "Unredeemed" and "I Will Carry You." I have been waiting on these two songs for months, months, and months. They are here. Buy them on iTunes - you shan't be sorry.

7. Who's ready to need a long sleeved shirt?

8. Dierks Bentley and Patty Griffin did a song together recently. Is anyone else disturbed by this? It's actually pretty good, too.

9. Did I ever write a review for Julie & Julia? It was absolutely fantastic. Charming every second through and through. Worth paying the hefty ticket price again, as a matter of fact. If you haven't seen it, GO.

10. I'm growing rosemary and cilantro in my kitchen - entirely too late in the herb season, mind you - and against all odds, they're springing forth from the soil in sprightly dance! The severed wasps are in flight, indeed. That was for you, Mere. :)

Happy mid-week, friends.

I've got a very important date...

...and it cannot get here fast enough. Ladies and gentlemen, Tim Burton has, I believe, embarked on the film he was always meant for. Alice in Wonderland will hit theatres March 5, 2010, and I am trembling with delight already.

With Johnny Depp (of course...who else?) as the Mad Hatter...

And Helena Bonham Carter as the Red Queen...

And Anne Hathaway as the White Queen...

And Mia Wasikowska (with a blond dye job, personally I think I would have been an appropriate pick, but whatever) as Alice...



How can this be anything but mesmerizing? As one who thought she was Alice as a small child, I don't think I could be more excited about this coming out. Some other images from the movie that I LOVE...



Here's the trailer...



I don't know that I have ever been this excited about a movie. Tim Burton was made for this.


Alice laughed. "There's no use trying," she said. "One can't believe impossible things."

"I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

-Through the Looking Glass, chapter 5

this is going to be a good, good weekend...

...for several reasons. One, it's the end of the first week of school, which means I am dying to sleep in tomorrow morning - if you're thinking "but you had ALL SUMMER to sleep in......" please understand that even if I had slept in all summer, just one week of herding around 106 8th graders and trying to make them pay attention to you teach them about the preposition takes the ever living OOOMPH out of a girl.

So again, #1, tomorrow I can sleep until I wake up -- sweet goodness.

Two, I am going to see Julie & Julia, which I have been looking forward to for ages. I can. not. wait. to see this movie. I have been enthralled by design for the past several months (I suppose the inner-Bonnie in me is beginning to emerge? Are you beaming, yet, mom?) and am extremely excited to see the kitchen designs in this movie. I've seen pictures, and I'm intrigued, to say the least. Too bad I don't yet own a home to overhaul. Which brings me to Three...

I have been on the Dave Ramsey plan now for several months, and can I just say that IT WORKS?? Even on a little teacher-budget - along with Dave, an incredibly cheap shoebox of an apartment, some tried-and-true discipline, smart saving (thanks, Dave!) I will, Lord willing, be a homeowner in approximately 2 years! I mean, I'll be 30 by then. Come on. It's about time to be there, don't you think? I'm not sure what this has to do with it being a good, good weekend, but I felt like throwing that in there. On to Three.

I am joining Redeemer Community Church this weekend. Any of you who know me well will know that I've not joined a church in, maybe, never? Growing up, I was part of a church that I don't recall having an official membership roster - and since then, I haven't been a member of a church, though I've attended a church or two regularly for years at a time. I love this church and its teaching with all my heart. I love it because, obviously, like many churches, it proclaims and seeks to authentically live out Jesus' oft uncomfortable truths in very honest, real, tangible ways in the city of Birmingham. And let's be honest, I need this kind of covenant community to live these truths myself and act in obedience despite my fears.

So yes. A good, good weekend indeed.

crooked creek ranch

Finally, my computer is well again. Here's to anti-virus software! I've been waiting and waiting to post pictures from Crooked Creek - I am cameraless (it's killing me) so all of these were bootlegged from other people on the trip. I was really lucky to get such good pictures with no camera in my possession.

These nine days were incredible - I would say without hesitation that the week was a delicious taste of what life was supposed to be like all the time. Just for a little background - I am not affiliated with YoungLife, or Restoration Academy, actually. One of their teachers was supposed to go on this trip with them but ended up leaving the country for the summer, so the counselor at the school asked if I would like to go. Of COURSE I jumped on it - I love Restoration Academy, and I love what YoungLife does. Turns out, YL is looking to put together a team for this school in Fairfield. Exciting stuff, really.

As you'll see from looking at the pictures, I really had to do some digging to access my inner youth group cheeseball, and that was probably my biggest challenge - not because I'm not a cheeseball, but because I don't think I ever had any kind of appreciation for youth groupy cheesiness. In fact, I've always kind of made fun of it.

But getting to know these girls was a treat - we're planning to do a book study on Kai'Ro: The Journey of an Urban Pilgrim, a modern rendition of John Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress written by the principal at Restoration. The book is great, and it's part of a broader vision called The Kai'Ro Project. Click here to read about it - what they are seeking to do and be a part of is incredible. If you are involved in any way with urban youth, you've got to get your hands on this book.

Ok, on with the pictures...

Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens? Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket, or weighed the mountains on the scales or the hills in a balance?

-Isaiah 40:11-13

sweet summer

Hi, friends...lots to catch up on here! I've been MIA from Birmingham for about a month and with limited cell/internet access, so I feel like I've been in a black hole for a long time now. I've been blissfully unaware of all things CNN, cellphone and Foxnews, and it's been wonderful.

As you may know, I've not had a camera since I accidentally threw mine into a river in North Carolina awhile back, so I am dependent upon others to send pictures of the past month's jaunts. I have a few from the week at the beach with my family a couple of weeks ago - the ones I have are mostly of or with Nita, so I'll just post a few.

Check her out:Little butterball of goodness, that Nita Pita...

Dad and I went kayaking

The week was so relaxing - good times with family, the Skinners, Kate Graham, and dear Varner Stewart, who came also.

I just got back last night from Crooked Creek Ranch in Frasier, Colorado where I went to a YoungLife camp with five high school girls from Restoration Academy in Fairfield (linked on my "favorite places" sidebar if you care to read about the school -- it's awesome) and Homewood High School's YoungLife team.

I'm waiting on pictures from the week - I don't even want to try to do it justice with just words. Everything about the whole week was beautiful - the mountains, hikes, woods, weather, music, and especially these girls and new friendships.

As soon as I get my hands on some pictures, I'll post more about it...

Happy late 4th!!

Iron Chef champs, move aside

I've been practicing cooking with new recipes lately, and I always appreciate a little inspiration. When I invent my own recipes, usually that means I boil noodles and put some spray butter on them. Mmmmm.

My friend Courtney does a much better job creating new dishes (and she makes a MEAN grilled cheese sandwich), so for any of you out there who are trying to refine your skills in the kitchen, or if you love trying new (and delicious) recipes, you need to visit her blog.

You'll learn aplenty about cooking, good wine, good cheese, and the Hogwarts School of Wizardry - an excellent use of your time if you ask me.

Still at the beach - pictures to come!

wormology

FOOD-OLOGY
What is your salad dressing of choice? vinaigrette
What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? Tazikis
What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of it? It is not unusual for me to eat the same thing for stretches of time at least two weeks long...right now it's tomato sandwiches.
What are your pizza toppings of choice? Pepperoni, onion, olives
What do you like to put on your toast? I don't eat toast

TECHNOLOGY
How many televisions are in your house? One
What color cell phone do you have? black
What does the first text message in your inbox say and who sent it? "It is finished!" - Kelly
Who was the last person to call you? my friend Kelly

BIOLOGY
Are you right-handed or left-handed? right
Have you ever had anything removed from your body? just wisdom teeth
What is the last heavy item you lifted? a box of lit books

DUMB-OLOGY
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? NO THANKS
If you could change your name, what would you change it to? If I could change my name, I wouldn't.
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? YES. YES I WOULD.
How many pairs of flip flops do you own? two
Last time you had a run-in with the cops? Freshman year of college - dead rat - prank war - I'll spare you those details
Last person you talked to in person ? Katie
Favorite Month? October

CURRENT-OLOGY
Missing someone? Yes
Mood? sleepy
What are you listening to? dave barnes newer version of "Until You" I'll never get tired of it
Watching? nothing
Worrying about? not getting lost finding my destination tomorrow

RANDOM-OLOGY
What’s the last movie you watched? Taken. It was INTENSE.
Do you smile often? Yes
Do you always answer your phone? Only if I know who's calling
It’s four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it? Everyone I know knows better
If you could change your eye color what would it be? Fire engine red
What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? strawberry or vanilla
Do you own a digital camera? not since I accidentally threw mine in a river
Have you ever had a pet fish? Yes, Cloudy, who lived for almost 9 years. I felt like I'd lost a part of me when he died.
Favorite Christmas song? “O Come, O Come Emmanuel” without a doubt
What’s on your wish list for your birthday? I have not thought about it
Can you do push-ups? I doubt it; my arms are pretty weak
Can you do a chin up? see above
Does the future make you more nervous or excited? It's kind of a nervous excitement
Do you have any saved texts? no
Ever been in a car wreck? two fender benders
Do you have an accent? Yes
What is the last song to make you cry? I don't know
Plans tonight? packing
Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? yes
Name 2 things you bought yesterday. A subway sandwich and a diet coke
You ever been given roses? yes
Current hate right now? always curry
Met someone who changed your life? yes
What song represents you? according to that iPod shuffle game, "Honkey Cat" by Elton John sums me up pretty well.
What were you doing 12 AM last night? sleeping
What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? coffee

book recommendation

Right now I'm reading White Guilt: How Blacks and Whites Together Destroyed the Promise of the Civil Rights Era by Shelby Steele, on loan from Sammer. I would recommend this thought-provoking read to anyone who has ever grappled with the oft blurred lines between issues of biblical justice and political/social justice.

It's a pretty easy, quick read, though the topic is anything but. Steele is one of the clearest thinkers on issues of race that I have ever encountered, and I haven't been able to put the book down. I won't attempt to recap or summarize any of his ideas, because I would only botch them, but I will leave you with an excerpt...

"When there is no white guilt vying for responsibility over minority struggles, there is no incentive to distort these problems into instances of injustice. We blacks, then, remain entirely responsible for them whether or not we get help from others.

In music, literature, sports, and entertainment our deficiencies are, thus, simply deficiencies that we overcome the way all people overcome deficiencies: through skill development, innovation, and relentless practice.

People wrongly dismiss black achievement in these areas for reasons that can be ascribed only to racism - that are compelling excellence follows from a mere genetic advantage. The fact is that we are good at sports and music because we subject ourselves to unforgiving standards of excellence and then work ferociously to meet those standards. Ruthlessly, we allow absolutely no excuses. The same poverty and deprivation that afflict us as we walk to school in the morning afflict us later in the same day on the playground or in the tenement basement where we practice obssessively on a cheap electric keyboard. The different is that white guilt makes no appearance on that playground or in that basement.

There is no carnivorous white need standing between us and the pursuit of excellence. No pity. Thus, excellence is allowed to entice us with its own intrinsic joys and rewards; and we come in thrall to it."

Also this...

"...if this boy's problem is reading and writing rather than basketball, white guilt will certainly prevent even a modified version of this natural human process from occurring. Career-hungry academics will appear in his little world, and they will argue that his weaknesses reflect the circuitous workings of racism...he will be an object of abstract compassion for everyone. And permeating his classroom, like a stalled weather pattern, will be a foggy academic relativism in which scholastic excellence is associated with elitism, and rote skill development with repression.

Yet just beyond the window of his classroom, on the pockmarked basketball court with the netless and bent hoop, another weather pattern prevails. On that court almost nothing is forgiven, and he will be "blamed" and held entirely responsible for all his deficiencies. And all through the torpor of a day structured to spare his feelings around reading, writing, and arithmetic, he will long to be on the other side of that window, where everything is asked of him."

For clarification - when Steele writes of "white guilt," he is referring to a great moral vaccuum, or loss of moral authority, that racism left in white America. This book is a thorough unpacking of his assertion that both white America's attempts to refill that vaccuum and black America's embrace and exploitation of said attempts have together destroyed the hope of the Civil Rights Era.

Go pick it up!

gold nuggets

It's the last day of school. There's nothing like the feeling of the last day of school...and I will tell you, it's so much better as a teacher than it was as a student. I won't be obnoxious and go on and on about it, but I did have to at least mention the relief of the day. It's not nearly as intense a relief as it was the past 2 years...this year, thankfully, I've had somewhat of a life outside of school as opposed to before, when for most of the year, I was literally flat on my back from the time I got home to the time I went to bed.

You should know that I had the summer job of a lifetime lined up - I was going to supervise an internship for high school students called the Young Water Ambassadors. They work as "leak detectives" for the Bham Water Works, and my job would have been to teach them about water conservation, hydrology, and leak repair. Field trips down the Cahaba, goggles and a lab coat...the perks are endless.

Not to mention the fact that, technically, my boss would have been the one and only Mayor Larry Langford. (Click here to read a golden article to get more on the burlap, and here to read an even more hilarious yet sacreligious bit)

You might be wondering what business I have supervising ANYONE on matters of hydrology and leak repair - and you would be right in questioning me, as I know nothing about these topics. But they train you, and it paid well. So in the interest of saving some money (thank you, Dave Ramsey) I was going to bite it and work from 7:30-3:00 M-F all summer.

Not gonna lie, apart from getting to pick Larry's brain (trust me, I would have made it happen), I was really dreading that. So I was a smite relieved when I was reminded that I indeed have two week-long workshops this summer that aren't negotiable, and another in a couple of weeks in Destin. Sadly, this means I can't call myself a leak detective.

I will, however, have some good time to rest, hang out, read some good books, and take some fun, albeit cheap, vacations with friends and family.

I also plan on spending a lot of time mining for gold nuggets like this one...watch the whole thing...the funniest part - my favorite part, anyway, is the last 10 seconds...

How do I love thee, Will? Let me count the ways...

while you were sleeping...

I was filling out ANOTHER survey.

1. First thing you wash in the shower? My hair
2. What color is your favorite hoodie? Charcoal
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Regardless, something about responding to this question on a blog feels awkward to me.
4. Do you plan outfits? never. I'm also late almost everywhere I go.
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? Really tired, and overly concerned about Jack Bauer's well-being.
6. Whats the closest thing to you that's red? My cool teacher lanyard with my ID and keys to my classroom and file cabinets. You WISH you were as cool as THAT.
7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having? I am about to have a formal drop-in evaluation, and I dreamed that in a meeting, my principal told me he had never had to give such a low score to any teacher before ever in life. It was nightmarish.
8. Did you meet anybody new today? Why yes, I did.
9. What are you craving right now? The beach
10. Do you floss? Do I really have to answer that question? What if Barry Herring reads my blog?
11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? Cabbage patch kids
12. Are you emotional? Sometimes
13. Have you ever counted to 1,000? No. I don't think about numbers unless absolutely necessary. That's why I'm bad at managing money.
14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? I bite.
15. Do you like your hair? I'm very happy with my hair.
16. Do you like yourself? Sure.
17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? I would. We would get a Mugshots burger and a beer.
18. What are you listening to right now? My ocean waves noisemaker.
19. Are your parents strict? Um, I suppose they were, although progressively less so with Sammer and Hails. As Susanna recalled this weekend, when I first started driving, it was a rule that I had to pull over to change the radio station. I don't remember that, but Susanna says I did it.
20. Would you go sky diving? No. Totally not worth it.
21. Do you like cottage cheese? Yes, with black olives, please.
22. Have you ever met a celebrity? Yes-in Charleston I met Ben Harper, and according to Adam Telle, he had the hots for me. And in 2004, Edwin McCain took a dump in my bathroom.
23. Do you rent movies often? Every now and then. I just rented Changeling and Vicky Christina Barcelona. Both very good.
24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in? Not really my style.
25. How many countries have you visited? Just England and Scotland. I want to go to Spain and Austria very soon.
26. Have you made a prank phone call? Absolutely! I think I started doing that around age 11 and haven't stopped since.
27. Ever been on a train? Yes, and I loved it!
28. Brown or white eggs? Either
29. Do you have a cell-phone? Yes
30. Do you use chap stick? Yep
31. Do you own a gun? No
32. Can you use chop sticks? No and why would I? Rick and Bubba said for a country as technologically advanced as China, it sure is a shame they still use such a primitive utensil to eat. I agree.
33. Who are you going to be with tonight? My dear roommate, Katie, and Jack Bauer.
34. Are you too forgiving? I certainly can be.
35. Ever been in love? I don't think so, but again, is this really appropriate blog survey material?
36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow? Working
37. Ever have cream puffs? I probably have; it sounds like all the rest of the cheap, disgusting candy I love
38. Last time you cried? It's actually been quite awhile. Months, even?
39. What was the last question you asked? Katie, are you ready for 24?
40. Favorite time of the year? Fall, hands down
41. Do you have any tattoos? No.
42. Are you sarcastic? Yes.
43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? No
44. Ever walked into a wall? Surprisingly, no
45. Favorite color? green
46. Have you ever slapped someone? No
47. Is your hair curly? Yes, though most of the time you wouldn't know it
48. What was the last CD you bought? I think Rosie Thomas
49. Do looks matter? Yep
50. Could you ever forgive a cheater? I'll echo Yaya's answer on that one - I hope I never have to decide.
51. Is your phone bill sky high? No. It's actually pretty low. I'm a minimal phone-talker.
52. Do you like your life right now? Absolutely!!
53. Do you sleep with the TV on? No
54. Can you handle the truth? Yes
55. Do you have good vision? It is awful
56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people? I can only think of 2 right now.
57. How often do you talk on the phone? Not often.
58. Who was the last person you held hands with? The sweet pre-K kids who come down my hall everyday. They all give me high fives and want to hold my hand. It's one of the highlights of my day :)
59. What are you wearing? pajamas
60. What is your favorite animal? I wish I could sound cool and say dogs or dolphins, but I would be lying if I said anything other than cats. I love them.
61. Where was your default picture taken at? What ever is a default picture?
62. Can you hula hoop? No.
63. Do you have a job? One heck of a job.
64. What was the most recent thing you bought? 4 new tires. Whew.
65. Have you ever crawled through a window? Yes.

I didn't know you could fence out at UAB, but YOU CAN!!

Allow me to introduce you to our mayor. This post is primarily for those of you who don't live in Birmingham and thus are sadly without the privilege of following the deliciously absurd antics of Larry Langford. This is prime entertainment, and I feel it would be a disservice not to share it with you.

Did you know we're having the 2020 Olympic Games right here in Birmingham, Alabama? According to Mayor Langford, we already have most of what we need. Nevermind the fact that the city is in no way ready to host any event larger than a monster truck rally.

Mayor Langford even offered up the Cooper Green Hospital grounds for the site of a new golf course (with FOUR WATER HOLES!) for the Olympic golf games, which, as it turns out, do not exist. According to Langford, the pitch is to show people that "we can do something!"

My favorite of Langford's claims:

Badminton could be held almost anywhere...archery at the state park...basketball at the Birmingham Jefferson Civic Center or the "new dome"....kayaking in the Cahaba River....cycling at "the new Fair Park"....equestrian at the Birmingham Race Course (which boasts greyhound racing)...the possibilities are endless!

Not to mention fencing:

"All you need is a big open place, a mask over your face, one of them funny little suits and a tip over your sword and you can just duke it out all day long."

I'll say no more. You have to listen to this roundtable montage for yourself - it's about a year old, give or take a month or two, but I was lucky enough to find it on someone else's blog so I could preserve these beautiful soundbites.

Add Fair Catch to your page

I love it that he says that all Birmingham needs to do to be ready to host the Olympic games is to "put a little grease on the bottom of the pan, butter the pan, put some flour on and put the mix in"

If that's not a recipe for success, then tell me what is.

These are pictures of Mayor Larry Langford and his wife at a day of prayer they organized about a year ago, and they are wearing burlap sacks - yes - burlap sacks - which they handed out to people participating in the rally. They asked people, and this is a direct quote, "to wear the sack cloths and ashes to stop crime."

Don't you wish stopping crime was as simple as wearing burlap over your clothes?

This is just delicious.



To read more about the 2020 Olympic gamesin Birmingham, click here.

it is ironic, isn't it?

In the 8th grade world, we are exploring irony as a literary device. As I was trolling for material/examples in pop culture to add to our reading, I found some interesting commentary on Alanis Morissette's little ditty, Ironic. I always loved laughing at that song, because few of her vignettes are ironic in the least. Which is, ironically, quite ironical.

I wish I could take credit for the following thoughts, but they were written by one Matt Sturges back in 1996, when the song was red-hot. I thought it was funny, and as I will be sharing this Nineties throwback with my students (who may or may not appreciate it) I thought I would also share it with you:

Alanis Morissette has taken more than her share of hits for the song "Ironic." Critics have
argued that she doesn't really understand the meaning of the word, and that the examples of
irony she gives are simply not ironic. To be perfectly honest, I'm more surprised that there
are music critics who do know what "ironic" means than I am that there are 21 year-old pop
singers who don't. But that's a whole other essay.

It's not an easy word to define. Not even language scholars agree on whether a certain
situation is "ironic" or not. For instance, if Alanis and Moose (Alanis's childhood costar
cum nemesis) both moved independently to LA from Ontario and later became lovers, some
would argue that this situation by itself constitutes irony. On the other hand, if Alanis and
Moose each moved because they individually were convinced that Ontario was devoid of
potential mates, and then met each other at a bar in LA, that would be ironic.

So in the interest of fairness, and erring generously in her favor, I took the time to examine the lyrics of Alanis's song, and discover for myself what was truly ironic and what wasn't. Results are
tallied below:

1. "An old man turned ninety-eight/He won the lottery and died the next day."

While an amusing (if morbid) coincidence, there is nothing particulary ironic about
the death. It is certainly an awe-inspiring sequence of events -- the gentleman celebrating his
98th birthday, winning the lottery, and dying all in a two day period. What kind of
luck is that? The ineffective slant rhyme, btw, is a little jarring, too.

2. "It's a black fly in your Chardonnay."

The irony here is that there is nothing remotely ironic about this line. In perhaps her one sweet moment of unadulterated genius, Alanis has shown us the true meaning of irony by giving an example of it that isn't ironic at all! It's a deliberate contrast between apparent and intended meaning: the textbook definition of irony!

3. "It's a death row pardon two minutes too late."

This one's kind of a coin toss, and really depends on the context. Imagine the following situation: Jimmy is black and has allegedly murdered fifteen people in Texas, with malice aforethought. No doubt he's going to fry, right? All the while, his pretty young Public Defender facing obstacles both legal and societal, struggles to overturn Jimmy's conviction. The actual killer, as it happens, was the son of a cattle rancher whom Jimmy'd stripped of a football to make the winning play at the cattle rancher's son's homecoming game.

The pretty young Public Defender, after years of searching, finally discovers the blood-stained sand wedge the cattle rancher's son used in the murders, covered up and down with his incriminating fingerprints. The PYPD races to the aid of Jimmy, with whom she's fallen in love and doesn't care who knows, and receives a stay of execution for her wrongly-accused beloved.

But irony of ironies: the pretty young Public Defender forgot to set her clock forward for daylight savings time, and Jimmy's already been dead for two minutes while she's breathing a sigh of relief in the Governor's office as the Governor, bewildered, makes the phone call only to discover to everyone's dismay that Jimmy's already toast and now he has to break the news to the pretty young Public Defender, who isn't going to take this little zigzag of kismet well, one suspects. Now,
that's ironic. That was so easy, there's no way I'm giving Miss Thing credit for it.

4. "It's like rain on your wedding day."

Nope.

5. "It's a free ride when you've already paid."

Sorry, no. Alanis seems to think that "irony" means "bad timing".

6. "It's the good advice that you just didn't take."

This is very close! Ignoring good advice is ironic, but only if the listener suffers some kind of befitting karmic punishment as a result. Alanis gets half a point for the setup, but because she only sketchily implies the irony, we cannot grant her full credit.

7. "Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly/ He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids
good-bye/ He waited his whole damn life to take that flight/And as the plane
crashed down he thought, Well, isn't this nice?"

This quatrain is truly a feather in Alanis's cap, because it contains not one, but two legitimate instances of actual, honest to God irony. A) It is, indeed, ironic that someone who is afraid of flying would die in a plane crash during his first flight; it's an unexpected disruption in the normal course of events that gives us insight into human folly. And B) said someone is being, you guessed it, ironic when he says, "Well, isn't this nice?" since we must presume that he is being sarcastic.

8. "It's a traffic jam when you're already late."

See No. 5. When Alanis finds a concept she likes, she runs with it.

9. "A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break."

Oh, come on. You were doing so well with the plane guy.

10. "It's like ten thousands spoons when all you need is a knife."

If the speaker is rifling through a silverware drawer which is known to contain knives, then this is ironic. If she's in a spoon factory, it isn't.

11. "It's meeting the man of my dreams/ And then meeting his beautiful wife."

The implied irony here is that Alanis has searched high and low for her soulmate, finds him only
to discover that, wouldn't you know it?, he's married. All the good ones are taken,
aren't they? But a moment's consideration will show that the situation is actually in no way
ironic, since we would expect all the good ones to be taken. What would be ironic would
be to meet some ugly, stupid, fat kid that Alanis spurned while a cast member of
Nickelodeon's You Can't Do That on Television, and then meet his beautiful wife.

Final Tally

Attempts at describing irony: 11
Successful attempts: 2.5
Confusion of irony with "poor sense of timing": 6
Completely missing the term: 3

Here's to hoping 8th graders get a better grasp of the term than Alanis...

The Tell-Tale Power Outage

Forgive me for posting this cartoon of Poe's The Tell-Tale Heart. I need it for school tomorrow, and I won't be able to access it from school computers, so I'm having to back-door it through my blog.




I would just like to say that I NEVER knew how dependent I was upon electricity to keep my routine running and to keep from looking like I woke up in the top of a tree in my backyard.

For two days now, we have been without power due to a bad thunderstorm Sunday night. I have looked like a walking dead person - pale, with frizzy hair standing in all directions, and I have smelled of smoke and candlewax and who KNOWS what else. I look and feel like someone who could be cast in a film adaptation of one of EA Poe's stories, so I guess this post does have some relevance.

Thank goodness the power is now back.

Hope ya'lls week is good!

nita pita

On April 9, we welcomed my new niece, Nita McKinley Hardin, into the world. Meet Nita!

She is named for our great aunt on the Hardin side and for Katherine's dad on the Skinner side. It's really fun to call her Nita Pita or Nita Burrita when she's all swaddled up.

I could not get enough of her this weekend - aunthood is fantastic. See more pictures below.

SUPER HANDS!

I love this one. She will certainly be a Daddy's Girl.

In other news, I have nearly deleted my blog several times due to lack of blogging material. Better to have no blog at all than to have one that you just put surveys and quizzes on, right? Let's be honest, folks, my blog has gotten kind of lame.

If I can't revive it in a couple of weeks, it may be time to delete. I do have one funny story for you, though, for now. I was in the Wal-Mart self checkout line a couple of weeks ago, and a cashier walked over to me all the way from her register, which was several yards away, and said, verbatim, "Is that you that smell like marijuana??"

"Could you please say that again?"

"Is that YOU that smell like marijuana?"

"I certainly hope not."

"Oh."

Then she walked away. I don't know how to explain that, except maybe that the black pants, cardigan, and very cool teacher lanyard around my neck screamed "I sell marijuana" to this woman.

Looks CAN be deceiving, after all.

Hope everyone is having a good Saturday.

Happy birthweek, Nita McKinley! And another big congratulations to Sam and Katherine.