I didn't know you could fence out at UAB, but YOU CAN!!

Allow me to introduce you to our mayor. This post is primarily for those of you who don't live in Birmingham and thus are sadly without the privilege of following the deliciously absurd antics of Larry Langford. This is prime entertainment, and I feel it would be a disservice not to share it with you.

Did you know we're having the 2020 Olympic Games right here in Birmingham, Alabama? According to Mayor Langford, we already have most of what we need. Nevermind the fact that the city is in no way ready to host any event larger than a monster truck rally.

Mayor Langford even offered up the Cooper Green Hospital grounds for the site of a new golf course (with FOUR WATER HOLES!) for the Olympic golf games, which, as it turns out, do not exist. According to Langford, the pitch is to show people that "we can do something!"

My favorite of Langford's claims:

Badminton could be held almost anywhere...archery at the state park...basketball at the Birmingham Jefferson Civic Center or the "new dome"....kayaking in the Cahaba River....cycling at "the new Fair Park"....equestrian at the Birmingham Race Course (which boasts greyhound racing)...the possibilities are endless!

Not to mention fencing:

"All you need is a big open place, a mask over your face, one of them funny little suits and a tip over your sword and you can just duke it out all day long."

I'll say no more. You have to listen to this roundtable montage for yourself - it's about a year old, give or take a month or two, but I was lucky enough to find it on someone else's blog so I could preserve these beautiful soundbites.

Add Fair Catch to your page

I love it that he says that all Birmingham needs to do to be ready to host the Olympic games is to "put a little grease on the bottom of the pan, butter the pan, put some flour on and put the mix in"

If that's not a recipe for success, then tell me what is.

These are pictures of Mayor Larry Langford and his wife at a day of prayer they organized about a year ago, and they are wearing burlap sacks - yes - burlap sacks - which they handed out to people participating in the rally. They asked people, and this is a direct quote, "to wear the sack cloths and ashes to stop crime."

Don't you wish stopping crime was as simple as wearing burlap over your clothes?

This is just delicious.



To read more about the 2020 Olympic gamesin Birmingham, click here.