Introducing the "My Teacher Has a Life?!" Series

It all began with my homeroom class going on a kick where they wanted to ask nonstop questions about my personal life (few of which I actually answered). They asked if they could write a paper on what they think my life is like outside school. After a brief moment of hesitation, I agreed.


Who was it that said seeing your teacher outside of school is like seeing a cat walk on its hind legs?

Letting 7th graders write about what they think my life is like outside school has opened a massive and hilarious can of worms. There should be more studies done on the 13 yr old brain. It's like they're constantly in a state of being high.

This is really the kind of thing I should post on Don't Test My Gangster, but it's just too long for that, I think.


So for the next 3oish days, in between lists, I'll share a few of these tasty morsels.


Installment #1

"Have you ever wondered what your teacher might do after school hours? I have. My name is ***** ******** and I am here to tell you three ways I think my teacher lives her life outside of school. My teacher's name is Miss H and she is my English teacher. I never really thought about it until I saw a show called iCarly. Carly, Sam, and Freddie went into their teacher's house and stayed for hours spying. Then they found out she was just a regular boring teacher who was in love with Randy Jackson and she worked out all the time.

I always thought Miss H was a spy. She always seems to appear out of the dark like Batman. One minute she's in her room the next BAM she's in the teacher's lounge making copies. After school she could put on a black suit and become a spy who climbs on walls and walks on the ceiling. Does she spy on the president or spy on the government and see what they might be hiding from the world? How does she appear from no where like that? I think Miss H is a spy. From now on I will call her Miss Darkness.

Miss H could also just sit at home and drink coffee all day and knit. Miss H is always up and walking real fast like she has to use the restroom or like a thousand ants are biting her butt. Through the whole school day I probably see her sit down twice. I always laugh at the way she walks super fast with her black cup. She smells like coffee; I tihnk it might be her favorite drink. If I ever found out that Miss H sits and knits all day I would just die of laughter. I never wanted a boring teacher because that is LAME.

Have I been wrong about my guesses? I don't know but I have one more. My teacher Miss H could be a rebel. When you're at school teachers and kids are supposed to act in a great attitude. Walk on one side of the hall and don't talk without permission (we really don't listen or walk on one side of the hall unless there is a fire drill, and that's only once every two months.) or you're in big trouble.


You never know what she could do after school hours. Miss H is from Mississippi so she could have did some bad things there like rob a bank or murder someone. Miss H could have changed her identity. Who knows, her name might really be Holly or Amanda. She could have a tattoo of her name or of a heart. If Miss H is a rebel I need to change schools now because she might try to cut me.

There are so many things that Miss H might be outside of school. She could be a spy, a coffee drinker who knits all day, or a rebel. If Miss H is one of the three, then I told everybody so. If she's not any of those things, then I made good guesses and I will still think she is one of the three. But, who knows but Miss H what her life really is. She could be a normal person who goes to the mall and watches movies. (I really hope Miss H is a spy, spies rule!)"