For those wondering, I survived New York with little to no bruises.
Also good news: Due to Jefferson County's obscene sewer debt, our local government is asking that on a specified day in late April, the residents of Birmingham do the following:

1. Those with even street addresses flush only during even hours of the day, and those with odd street addresses flush only at odd hours of the day. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, our local government is regulating toilet flushing. Saturday Night Live would eat this for dinner. Wait, STEPHEN COLBERT would eat this for dinner. And dessert.
2. Put stoppers over every drain in the house for a day, as the sewer pipes will be blasted and thus releasing intense bursts of sewage bacteria into our homes and nostrils. They even suggested we place a plastic bag securely over our toilets and fasten it down.
Would anyone else be a smite concerned about this?


It's the everyday miracles