Leave a good thing alone

Alright, I'm blogging on Friday night. Normally my excuse would be the fact that it's Friday, and we all know what teachers are like on Friday, don't we? Well, LT understands anyway. I have no such excuse...this week is spring break.

I heard something today on the radio that demands immediate attention. I think I've heard it before, but I'd forgotten about it. Blocked it from my memory, which I will do again right after I alert you all to this tragic case of musical detonation.

On my way to Starkville today, I turn on the radio in my car and am flabbergasted to hear Vince Gill singing not one of his classic tunes, but Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You." I almost pulled over for a moment of silence.

Now, I am of the belief that if you can't sing a song as good or better than its original artist, you should leave it alone. It's bad enough when Rascal Flatts redoes "Life is a Highway" and Lonestar (of all groups) tries their hand at "Walking in Memphis," but come on, Whitney Houston? Vince Gill? Seriously? It was a shameless travesty...blasphemous...a mockery.

Now the memories of my first 7th grade slow dance are dashed. Thanks, Vince.

Death destroyed

I just came across this passage in an article I was reading this morning and wanted to post it. My mind has been reeling over Monday's massacre in Blacksburg, as I'm sure ya'lls have too, and I've found it nearly impossible not to dwell on the darkness and horror of it all.

I love this mini-sermon by John Chrysostom because I think it beautifully articulates the fact that just as there exists such unimaginable monstrosity, there also exists the other extreme--life and beauty incomprehensible--because of an infinitely good and faithful God. Though it is completely horrifying, it has already been conquered. In such sadness, may this be where we dwell.

"Let no one grieve at his poverty,

for the universal kingdom has been revealed.

Let no one mourn that he has fallen again and again;

for forgiveness has risen from the grave.

Let no one fear death, for the Death of our Savior has set us free.

He has destroyed it by enduring it."

You and your liver: How far would you go?

I've been tossing around the idea of a 10-day detox since Easter weekend. Now, lest you start to label me, let me assure you that I am not the earthy type who demands that all food be organic and all medicinals be herbal. Nor do I wear Berkinstocks year round, and yes, my feet have arches and no, I do not wear or smoke hemp. Just in case I needed to clarify.

I am health conscious, however, and this detox diet intrigues me. This diet, aka the lemonade diet, requires that one down 32 oz. of sea salt water first thing every morning (in one sitting), drink a gallon of spring water mixed with the juice of 5 lemons, grade B molasses, and cayenne pepper (for the liver) throughout the day, and have one cup of herbal laxative tea every night before bed. That's it. No food, no medicine (for any reason), and no compromises for 10 days.

My sister, Hailey, is on her 8th day of said diet, and she is blogging about it. I would link it, but it's graphic. You wouldn't want to read it. If you do, email me and I'll send you the link. Anyway, she's on the 8th day. Has pink eye in both eyes, a sore throat, her tongue is white, she has back pain, and can barely talk. To me, it doesn't seem as though her body is being detoxed. Deteriorating, perhaps, but not detoxed.

And so I've put my detox plans on hold for now, and instead decided to drink liver tea every night. Supposedly, it promotes healthy liver function and helps digest fats and promotes digestion by aiding in the manufacture of bile.

I just tried some, and it's pretty gross. Anything that contains all five tastes (sweet, sour, bitter, pungent, and salty) is bound to be disgusting, if you ask me. It's zesty, I'll give it that much.

My question to all of you is this: How far would you go for a quality liver? Would you, daily, gulp down a steaming mug of virtual liquid curry? Would you have 32 oz. of saltwater for breakfast every morning, give yourself the runs and not eat for 10 days straight? Oddly enough, I'm still considering it.

Just thought I'd take a poll.

Celebrating the long-eared wonder

Gooood MORNING Viet Scranton!

Hope everyone had an extraordinary weekend. I sure did. I attended Mule Day 2007 in Columbia, Tennessee. One word: Wondrous. Magnificent. Sensational. Downright awe-inspiring, if you will.

A few friends and I packed up on Friday and headed out to stay with our friend Will's family in Columbia to experience this fine occasion. After a morning Rotary breakfast of pancakes, mule sausage, coffee, Mountain Dew, and carbonated orange juice, we headed out to see the parade. Mules, horses, sheep, miniature mules, the Mule Queen and her court, child beauty queens, boy scouts, political parties, local politicians, and anyone else who felt like hopping on the parade that day (our friend Benj, for example) made their way through downtown Columbia as we looked on in the April rain. It was truly magical.

I learned a lot--for instance, the mule is an animal of the herd, so a lone mule is in fact a very lonely mule. Also, did you know donkeys evolved in the desert? I didn't. To top it off, I discovered a delightful affection and fervor for the miniature mule and shetland donkey that I never knew I had. You laugh, but I'm serious.

Will's parents were so sweet to host us--they fed us, housed us, and entertained us all weekend--and his dad took us on a hayride and built a bonfire afterwards. Sweet memories in the making. I'm posting a few favorite pictures from the weekend. Seriously, if you've never been to Mule Day, you're missing out.

One more day...

Maybe I'll make it, maybe I won't. If I don't, Mere, you inherit my journals, as you've always requested. I filled out five suspensions today, for the various daring and sundryundertakings of my students (not excluding extracting weave from another student's head and setting off the school's fire alarm...twice) had to take my class to the library and lock the doors due to a psycho parent (yes, a restraining order had already been issued), got sick after eating the potato salad in the cafeteria (big mistake), and then my computer crashed.

There is more, but I'll spare you. Needless to say, I'm flat on my back and counting the minutes until spring break. One more day.

Here are some pictures of our sweet golden retriever, Dooley. He got neutered today...stripped of his manhood. I think so far he's taking it quite well, though I think the lampshade is confusing him.

Sweet pup.

I think these pictures of him accurately portray how both of us feel today.

Ah HAH!!

Piggybacking off Tricia's last blog entry, I am going to say a few words about the new season of the Bachelor.

I don't typically follow this show, but this one intrigued me for some reason. I laughed my way through the first episode, and my roommate Courtney and I both decided that something is wrong with this guy. He's hot. He's smart. He's patriotic. He seems like a caring, down to earth individual--at least that's his first impression. We all know he isn't good at those, though, right Stephanie?

The fact that he's even on the show makes me believe something's not quite right. There's something rotten in the state of Denmark, if you will.

During the second episode, it hit me like a ton of bricks just what is rotten.

HE'S GAY.

Now, the picture you see here should be all you need to see that. But in case that's not enough, reference Monday night's episode when he got splashed by water from the hot tub. He looked like a silly schoolgirl fighting off a tickle attack.

So, there you have it. Fall in love as fast as you want, girls. Flaunt that first impression rose left and right, Steph. This gentleman is more likely to opt for Stephen than Stephanie.

The only words keeping me going at this point...

One week until spring break...sevenish weeks after that until summer. These verses are the theme of my song and the joy of my heart at present, as without these truths, I'd surely be drowning in turbulence and uproar from 7:45-3:30.

There's no tired like teacher tired, right Mrs. Sassafras?

Jehovah will perfect that which concerneth me. Thy lovingkindness, O Jehovah, endureth forever. Forsake not the work of Thine own hands.
Psalm 138:8

...As thy days, so shall thy strength be.
Deuteronomy 33:25