Verizon Math

I've never been one for numbers. Frankly, numbers make me lightheaded and nauseated. I'm definitely more of a words kind of girl. But what you'll see if you click on the links below is an exasperating and hilarious account of a math problem with Verizon wireless.

My brother Sam emailed me these links a long time ago, and I came across them today while cleaning out my drafts folder. If you're bored, please listen to the audio. You can also read a written account of the issue by visiting this guy's blog. It takes a long time, but it's worth it to get to the woman operator.

http://media.putfile.com/Verizon-Bad-Math

http://verizonmath.blogspot.com/

Birds, frogs, and COTTON, oh my!

Let me preface this by saying that I hardly ever turn on the TV (unless the office is on) lest you label me a trash TV junkie. But THIS, my friends, is worth the watch. I got a phone call one afternoon last week from one Meredith "Manboots" Horn, all the way from Alpine, Texas, imploring me to turn on the TV to Maury Povich.

Yes, folks, what you see is no joke. I turned on the TV and saw a woman screaming frantically, as though for her life, running from...are you ready? A man covered in cotton balls. Check out the 2:00 mark on this video---that's the best part. I can understand a fear of birds. Shoot, I'm afraid of rubber bands. But cotton balls?

This made my WEEK.

Sleepless on Crest Lane

Well here I am, blogging at this obscene hour of the morning. It is 1:20 a.m., and I cannot sleep. Not surprisingly, as I accidentally took a 3 hour nap today. I spent the weekend in Starkville for a wedding and Fathers' Day and came back to Bham tonight.

Maybe I was tired from waking up early to go to MSU cheer camp with my cousin, who wanted to go watch her friends cheer...maybe it was the out of control moms (who, by the way, were actually doing the routines on the sidelines while watching their daughters) who wore me out so quickly. I kept waiting for them to present the trophy for 1st place in crackhead, but I guess they forgot.

Good news! Laura, aka Turtleneck Tomlinson, Yaya, LT, or Minnie Driver, is coming tomorrow to hang out with me for a few days! Don't ask why I posted this picture of us (doing what we do best)--I just really like it for some reason--I think it's funny. It captures something about us that I can't quite put my finger on. Ha.

Stay tuned for the post you've all been waiting for (and by you all I mean Meredith "Murry" Horn)--harrowing, bone-chilling tales of frogs and cotton balls.

That is all.

Max Patch

Here are some pictures from last weekend. Thanks for the use of your memory card, Kate. Isn't Max Patch beautiful? I'll have more later, but here are some good ones.

Three things

Good evening.

1. I did not become bear bait in the wilderness. Praises. However, my camera DID become dam-building material for one lucky beaver in the babbling brook we traversed throughout and within on Saturday morning. Yes, folks, that's right, whilst climbing over one particularly slippery rock in the middle of the river/creek/flowing body of water, my camera slipped from my death-grip and was swept downstream in a dramatic exit from my life forever.

This is why you see no pictures. This is also why my knees are scraped up and so beautifully bruised. LT, you'd be proud. I will get some pictures, though, and when I do, I'll post them. Max Patch, NC is absolutely breathtaking.

2. I love downtown Birmingham. Really I have nothing else to say about that. Just that I love it. I went for a walk through a few blocks downtown today just to think about how much I love it. I love downtown Birmingham.

3. I'm so interested to see what kinds of music will be in heaven. I'm convinced that music is going to be a huge part of the beauty of heaven. And I think there will be more genres and beats than could be thought possible on earth. Go ahead, gag. I only say this because I think that there's just something happening when you hear a really, really good song that's just impossible to figure out.

In a really good song, there's just something going on there, and I think it's a big deal. Go ahead...gag again...it's been a little bit of a cheesy day. But since this has been on my brain, I'm going to list a few of my current favorites that I can't stop listening to. Good songs are meant to be shared, right? Here are my 12 favorites this week.

1. Trapeze - Patty Griffin

2. Sparks - Mo Leverett

3. All the Miles - Sandra McCracken

4. Life is Beautiful - Ryan Adams & The Cardinals

5. Up to the Mountain (written by Martin Luther King) - Patty Griffin

(In the running for favorite Patty song of all, and definitely in the top 5)

6. Hymn - Jars of Clay

7. Children of Desire - Mo Leverett

8. How Do You Keep Love Alive - Ryan Adams & The Cardinals

9. I Tried - Bone Thugs featuring Akon (you laugh...it's a good song)

10. Baby Grand - Billy Joel with Ray Charles

11. Songbird - Eva Cassidy

12. When it Don't Come Easy - Patty Griffin

Here's to Girl Scout Jamboree and mentors!

Good evening, worldwide readership.

A couple of things on this rainy eve.

1. I am heading out in the morning for a weekend camping trip in North Carolina. Fly fishing, sleeping under the stars, hiking, and cooking over a jetboil. Sweet bliss, lest we get eaten by bears or straight up abducted. Which, if you've watched the news recently, seems to be more and more likely these days. So, I'd be stretching the truth to say I'm not the least bit scurred. But I'm pumped nonetheless. 7 girls hanging out in the woods all weekend, no makeup, no fuss, just trees, mountains, crickets, and water. Sweet bliss. The picture you see to the right is a picture of the actual location which we'll be visiting.

On the off chance that I do get abducted, Mere, you inheret my journals. Ya, you can have my accessories, what few of them I own. Swart, my movie and music collections are yours. And family--you get all my pictures and books and everything else. Morbid, yes, but you can't be too prepared. Which is why I'm taking a world atlas and mase.

2. Not that anyone else really cares, but tonight I'm really, really excited about life. Earlier in the spring I decided to get a couple of my male students hooked up with a few of my good guy friends for some mentoring this summer and possibly beyond. Tonight they met, and we picked them up and had dinner at O'Charley's out close to the school.

It went so well--I loved seeing the boys, they LOVED Stuart, Will, and Benj, (and they will clearly love Gray when they meet him) and are already brainstorming stuff they can do together "just the guys" in the coming weeks. They're even picking out nicknames for the guys--Gray will be "Gramps," though he doesn't know it yet, and Benj will be "Benjaturtle" since he looks like (according to one of my students) a ninja turtle in his motorcycle helmet. Labeled for life, they say.

I am SO EXCITED about this. They absolutely light up at the prospect of older male company and guidance, and the guys who are going to be spending time with them will be such fun and solid influences. Not to mention they're great with them.

That wraps it up, guys. If I am consumed by bears this weekend, it was nice knowing you all.

Texas and world domination

I've found yet another stupid quiz Web site, thanks to one LT Tomlinson, and after perusing the quizzes, I selected two to share in honor of two of my favorite people in all the land.

First Quiz. In honor of Meredith "Manboots" Murphy Horn, I share with you this quiz. As we all know, there's a little Texas in all of us. Or is there? Here's to you, Murry, and to the skunks who'd chase me away from your lawn party.

You Are 40% Texas

You're as welcome in Texas as a skunk at a lawn party.

How Texas Are You?

Second quiz. In honor of my former lover, Dwight K. Schrute, I share with you the quiz of world domination. You will not be surprised to find that I am, in fact, destined to rule the world. What would you expect, given that everything I know I learned from Dwight?

You Are Destined to Rule the World

You have the makings of a very evil dictator... Which is both kind of cool and kind of scary! Will you rule the world? Maybe. Maybe not. But at least you know that you could.

Are You Destined For World Domination?