Church signs

If you know me at all, you know that I delight in seeing (and making fun of) church signs across the greater southern US region and the clever slogans they so artfully boast. Here is a list (my personal favorites in bold) compiled by one Anna Duggan of Memphis, Tennessee. Many of them I have seen, many she's shared with me, all are gems in the basin of church sign hilarity. Enjoy.

We don't change the message, the message changes us.
An upright man can never be a downright failure.
Life is hard, afterlife is harder!
Jesus died to save us, He lives to keep us.
Jesus-the gateway to the supernatural.
Weather forecast- the SON is always shining.
God buildsfaith, some assembly required.
When trouble grows, our character shows.
Sin is the disease, Christ is the cure.
The tact in evangelism is contact.
The ten commandments are not multiple choice.
Download your worries, get online with God.
Waiting for your ship to come in? Noah built his own.
God likes fruit, not religious nuts.
Bring your bling to the King.
Come on in to my house and bring the kids. Sincerely, God
Give the devil an inch and he becomes your ruler.
Try our Sundays, they are better than Baskin Robbins.
Church is a gift from God- assembly required.
Born in a manger, now preparing us a mansion.
The best vitamin for Christians is B-1.
"Body piercing saved my life" (Under a picture of a hand with a nail through it)
A trusted friend is the best mirror.
Feeling lost? My book is your map. -God
Anger is one letter away from danger.
For success, knock the T off can't.
Come to church for a faith lift.
Low on faith? Come on in for a fill up.
The best exercise is to lift another up.
CH_ _ CH. What's missing? YOU ARE!
Beware! Little sins add up to big trouble.
The family altar will alter a family.
ASAP- Always Say A Prayer
Why are you looking down? My Savior went UP!
We may not be Dairy Queen, but we sure do have great Sundays.
Get right or get left!
Talk to the hand-the nail scarred hand.
Soul-ar powered by the Son.
Next time you feel perfect, try walking on water.
Don't worry, even Moses was a basket-case.
Fishers of men, you catch 'em, He'll clean 'em.
Higher math comes from counting your blesses.
Prevent truth decay- brush up on yourBible.
Congratulations! Jesus loves you!
Good minus God equals O.
Working for the Lord may not pay much, but His retirement plan is out of this world!
God doesn't want shares of your life, He wants controlling interest.
If life were a puzzle, Jesus is your missing peace.
We need to put the hip back in discipleship.
Forbidden fruit creates many jams.
No time to pray makes you easy prey.
A Mother's Day Special (Definitely blasphemous): On the seventh day God rested, and mom took over.
Life has many choices, eternity has two.
"All I know is.....everything." - God
Keep your words sweet, you may have to eat them.
"Nice wedding, invite me to the marriage." -God
Swallow your pride daily, it's Atkins friendly.
Nothing ruins the truth like stretching it.
Feast on the Bread of Life- No Carbs.
Make every day a Sonday.
God only accepts knee-mail.
Make your eternal reservations now- smoking or non-smoking?
This church is prayer conditioned.
Keep pressing for your blessing.
Don't forget your Son-screen.
7 days without prayer makes one weak.
Nothing to be thankful for? Check your pulse.
Warning: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning
What in Hell do you want? Choose Jesus!
Easter Bunny- tastes like chicken
"Don't make me come down there." -God
Some things happen by chance, salvation isn't one of them.
Tithe if you love Jesus, anyone can honk.
If you only judge people you have no time to love them.
Walmart isn't the only saving place.
The Bible is like a parachute, it only works if its open.
"My way is the Highway." -God
Be content with what you have, not with what you are.
Make your paths straight. King Jesus is coming soon.
When judgement day comes, you'll wish you had Jesus bumper stickers on your car.
TGIF- Thank God I'm Forgiven