A presidential candidate conundrum

With all the causus and primary madness flowing to and fro, lots of hot issues have been on the forefront of the media and our minds of late. Though they've been EVERYWHERE, I have to preface everything I'm about to say with a swift confession that, honestly, I don't know enough about any of this to throw opinions around regarding these candidates.

HOWEVER.

One tidbit of information that my antenna happened to pick up is, I feel, a must-share.

Last night I was watching the Ohio/LSU game with friends, and my friend Greg (pictured below as E. Scrooge) mentioned that this time around he is voting on one issue and one issue only: immigration. It was an interesting conversation, and he was very steadfast in his intent to vote on this issue alone. It got me thinking. If I were going to vote on only one issue, what would it be? The War Against Terror? Stem cell research? Abortion? Crime? Corporations? Budget & economy?

Try animal abuse.

After learning of the information I'm about to share with you, I now just want a president without a connection to animal abuse. And preferably not a man named Hillary.

First, Mike Huckabee. I like him, I do. But did you know that in 1998, his then-17 year old son killed a stray dog (while a counselor at Boy Scout camp, to add to the horror) by hanging, stoning, and slitting its throat? It's true. Larry King asked him about it on the air, and he pretty much laughed it off and seemed astounded that anyone would ask about such a trifling, two bit occurrence. He even "wrote a letter" to get his son out of trouble's way with the cops.

Disturbing.

On to Mitt Romney. This one would actually be pretty hilarious in all its Chevy Chase glory, were it not so painstakingly cruel. Apparently 24 years ago, he took his family plus their dog on a family vacation. For the 12 hour drive, he strapped the dog's crate to the top of the car, WITH THE DOG IN IT.

What was his defense for that? "My dog loves the wind," insisted Romney.

To again quote from the blogging community, "as evidenced by the severe diarrhea running down the windows on all sides of the car?" Unfortunately, it's a fact that he pulled the car over, wiped the mess off the windows, and continued to finish the trip, dog on top of car in crate.

I don't know about you, but I'm a little unnerved, to say the least, about these fellas. And they were the ones I was most enthusiastic about.

Maybe I should write Jack Bauer in on the ballot and be done with it all.